mm.. now what?

the only bank i had hope for getting the loan backfired. THey have discontinued the service. What....the.......

So as far as i know, right at this moment, NONE of the banks in malaysia provides educational loans anymore. NONE, Zilch! How is that possible i wonder? How on earth are malaysians going to further their studies for those who are unable to pay? Especially since our government is stupid enough not to "sponsor" or "lent" their citizens for tertiary educations. what is going on in our country? I'm pretty sure a lot of malaysians cant afford for tertiary studies, not even locally. How is this possible? i dun get it. Australian government loan all their citizens for tertiary education, which they will have to pay back the government when they work. At least they have the education! the UEA united emirates pay all their citizens until tertiary studies. All of them do not need to pay until masters and they even send them overseas for the studies. I understand our country is not as rich as the UAE to do that, but our government did not do anything to help its citizens for higher educations. And now we cant even get it from private settings! i just cant digest this fact. May be i'm over emo for this news. Sigh i dunno....

i got it....

i got the offer. it's a mix feeling of happiness and sadness. i hope everything turns out ok. i'm praying for ys to get his offer. *prays hard*

be a man.... do the right thing!

"Be a man... do the right thing!" was one of the funniest quote Russel peters have said in his shows. There are lot of types of ppl in this world. There's no right or wrong... All we can do is just follow our own life principles and stick to it.... that's the best we can do as humans.. i think.

I'm those kind of person who will not treat ppl badly. Nor am i those that will be over friendly to ppl whom i don't really know. I'm actually quite reserved. I only show my true self to those that i'm close and comfortable with. Some ppl actually find me intimidating that way. Some say i'm arrogant. Some say i'm cool. Some say i'm rude? may be... Hehes.. well i've been thinking a lot ever since ive come to realise that i'm no longer a kid who can just be whatever i want to be or act however i want to act. And also ever since going out with YS.. i dunno he's influenced me a lot actually in changing my views on how to treat ppl. Since YS is always very friendly with ppl, especially with the elderly... while i'm not so much. May be cus i'm not so exposed with elderly ppl all my life and i always wondered what can i talk to them about? I've never much pay attn when my maternal grandma talks to my mom... cus i always feel it's "adult conversation" and kids dun need to know what they talk about. Plus i dun even know who she's talking about. PLUS it's in hokkien... so i never bothered to join the conversation. Now that i'm an adult, i feel that i need to change this attitude of mine. Not only towards the elderly.. but also towards acquaintances.

I think i kinda have this anti-social attitude sometimes. May be it's something that i've developed throughout the years cus my parents were really strict with me. I'm the only daughter and my dad's super duper strict with me. I'm not allowed to go out at night, yada yada yada. Friends from school gave me a nickname of Cinderella. Cus my dad will ring me up if i'm not back by certain hour. And so i tend to avoid social meetings every possible way i can cus i know 80% of it will not be approved by my parents. And this has somewhat made me like staying at home and do my own thing. I call this my private time. I've somehow find myself accustomed to being alone and do my own thing. I only go out when close friends ask me out. I actually find it a chore to go out with ppl i'm not familiar with. However i find my self changing a lot this year in terms of that. Take going out with my colleagues for instance. You have no idea how burdened i feel when they ask me out for dinners. LUckily enough there were dance that time which i can say to avoid those dinners. But now i'm actually quite happy to go out and have a drink/eat with them. May be it's because i'm more familiar with them now? May be i'm changing? I prefer to think that i'm changing. *smiles*

Looking back at uni time, sometimes i wish i had been more open with my housemates. I never really got the chance to experience those close housemate bond thing. But i cant really blame myself for being so reserved that time... since my housemates were all guys. I hope if Project A succeeded and YS ended up north while me down under for next year... then i hope i'll have great girl housemates that i can bond with. i think i needed that to survive....sigh.. sometimes i wish i have sisters lol. i got no one to do girly things with me except for my girl friends whom i only get to meet once in a blue moon.

one thing i have been able to be proud of about myself is being a non judgmental person.... unless that person provoked me. Otherwise i'm pretty much neutral to anyone i meet. But i come to realise that a lot of ppl are judgmental in this world. Especially during the period where i've just returned from aus. Ppl kind of have some sort of expectation from me... or they kind of outcast me a lil for studying overseas. Friends which i've adored and known for years turned out to be someone which i'm unfamiliar with. They compare things with me. They say hurtful things indirectly... and then there were others that judge me when they don't even know me. I wonder why ppl do that. We are humans and we have our flaws. No one is perfect. I accepted u as who u are... so just accept me as who i am. Dont u think the world would be a better place like that? I hope i can continue to be non judgmental.

There are lot of principles of life. One sets their own principles in what they believe in. For me i try not to judge ppl. I try to be as friendly to anyone as possible. It's not my fault i may looked a lil intimidating/cool/reserved cus i'm born like that...i'm born too quiet and my mind is usually blank... i'm not trying to be cool/unfriendly. *smiles* My mind is just blank. I hope to be a humble person.... hopefully i can be as humble as MJ who even as a superstar still says "thank you" all the time. I'm trying to change some of my "princess-attitude" that i kinda have... i dunno why i have them but i just have them lol.... i'm trying to get rid of that. I usually don't ask ppl for help.... i only ask ppl i'm really close with (family/bf) if i needed help... cus i dun like to take ppl for granted. And i hate those that do. Oh but my brother always says i'm too dependent on them for asking their help (one of the princess attitudes)... sigh.... i need to learn how to be more independent... even tho i think i've improved a lot ever since studying overseas and working. I've always been kinda thrifty my entire life... i don't spend much on unnecessary things. So i hope to continue this way.

I dunno why i wrote this post but i did. May be "man in the mirror" inspired me to do so. *smiles* I'm not trying to change the world.... i just hope to be a better person by changing myself. By just observing ppl's attitude i like to grasp the positive attitude they have in them and apply it on myself while at the same time avoid the negative attitudes.

But first, i need to change my stubbornness and my temper.

ahh i feel enlightened somewhat. good night. m(-.-)m

Y shift...... ahhhhh......

I hate Y shift the most. Leaves me no time at all to do anything at all. And the worst is to work Y today and ward round tomorrow. Is the Asst Manager mental? sigh...

I'm going for a talk on Monday in IJN. Anyone know where i can park the car? -.- sien... have to go myself. Apparently i'm the only one who's going for the talk. Why ah? I"m guessing other biochem-ers have gone to the talk b4? sighs.....

i want to cut my hair.... but i dunno what style i should cut. I wanted fringe... but i scared i'll look weird with it. hehs.... i havent had fringe for a loong loooong time. and i dun have the time to go cut too.. -.- working every weekend... sigh sigh sigh... why is my life so sad? lol....

生日!!!!!!

I'm officially 24 m(-.-)m. Good thing i didnt feel any older... just another day :) I'll feel old when i hit 30. I did when i hit 20.... cus i realise i'm a 20s... not a 10s anymore... was pretty sad then... lol... so i guess i'll feel old again when i hit 30. (笑）

i got a present from YS again!! i'm too spoilt XD. two presents in two weeks! too much huh hehe... thanks dear.. ^^

had a wonderful korean feast with family for dinner at Desa pArk city. Too bad the service is... hmm well... yeah.. waited for 1 hour and we were still not served... even those ppl who came later then us was served first X[ but the food was nice... especially their bulgolgi and dubu steamboat. b(^.^)d two thumbs up! Seafood steamboat was too spicy for my liking... tho their prawns were really good... so were the crabs..

my wish:

i hope everything that i wanted will go smoothly.
i hope next year will be a great year.
i hope next year will pass by fast too (for some reasons hee...)
i hope next year today i've achieved what i wanted and able to celebrate it with ys (just in case we really ended up not in the same place.. long story):(
i hope i'll remain disciplined for the entire academic year. wish me luck m(>.<)m

I heart Victor Borge

I didnt know his existance until last night. What a sheer genius!!!!! "Victor Borge (pronounced [ˈborgə] "BOR-guh"; January 3, 1909 – December 23, 2000), born Børge Rosenbaum, was a Danish comedian, conductor and pianist, affectionately known as The Clown Prince of Denmark, The Unmelancholy Dane, and The Great Dane." (wikipedia)

he's just so talented. And FUNNY.... he has became one of my fav comedian now...




his infamous phonetic punctuations! (phhssst pputttt)


his infamous inflationary language. "i nine an elevenderloin with my fivek"


upside down playing... lol lol....


i like this one! He said Debussey's Clair de Lune as "clear the saloon" haha. And he said Beethoven's a spanish?! lol... and what a genius rendition of Happy Birthday! This is for all us novemberians! Happy birthday lil bro, quinn, melissa, suzy, suchi, and moi! ^^ right if u didnt get his moonlight joke... beethoven's famous piece was moonlight sonata.


more happy birthday renditions from all famous composers of all time. he's very very good man -.- if only i could play like him.

what to do what to do????

I'll be working almost every weekend in november. 2 sunday X's, one public holiday X, a sunday full, one saturday full.... when will this turmoil end? I tried my best to work with more enthusiasm each day but i think i have lost my interest in a diagnostic lab (wait, i never had interest in diagnostic labs). T.T I've realised too that after the horrible 090909 baby massacre, i have somehow developed an A-shift phobia. I have the urge to quit. The stress i have to go through when things do not go smoothly in an A shift is nerve wrecking. Luckily it's a good day today... i was almost in a depressed mode right before work. I would seriously go nuts if i were to stay on. Seriously.

Anyways....... let's talk about something happy.

29th was our anniversary. It has been 1 year. Time flies. :) Kinda surreal still. Never thought something like this would happen between us. After all these years! 9 years.. mind u. The day was a bliss. We both took a day off. :p Celebrated with food and more food in Shogun! Then watched This is it! YS have been accompanying me a lot on MJ stuffs... even tho he doesnt fancy MJ as much. Thanks for tolerating my MJ-ness! o.o I even got a gift!!!!! Wasn't expecting any. But that's how he is ^^. Thank you so much! It'll definitely last me a very long long long time. I will take good care of it.




*pls excuse our lovey-dovey photofunia moments* :p

We had more food the next day at Sunway's Tasty Pot steamboat buffet. Seriously... i need to loose all the extra calories i've gained >.<... I NEED DANCE~! MJ's This is it. For those who wanted a glimpse of what he had to offer for the concert, then u would want to watch this is it. Watch how he wanted to portray his music, his new background clips and props for the concerts, his rehearsal..... at age 51... it's amazing he's still able to dance and sing like that. The way he sings.. it's like he's shouting but he's doing it so effortlessly. He's such a humble person too. He's an amazing person. A genius in the entertainment and fashion industry... what he wore 30 or 20 years ago still looked so cool on him. Ending the post with Mj's last song.... this is it.